


malamente

by moondustis



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crimes & Criminals, Drama, Established Relationship, F/M, bonnie and clyde au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:27:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23532316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondustis/pseuds/moondustis
Summary: Right now, at the downfall, you can only think back to the basement apartment and the job that barely managed to put food on your mouth. The lack of life on Jaehyun’s eyes and how it seemed almost gone the past days. And there’s the answer. It was. It was all worth it.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Reader
Kudos: 16





	malamente

You can see Jaehyun’s mouth moving through the black mask but the sound of alarms and sirens are too loud, deafening even. Your hand grips the bag you’re holding with much more force than needed, and there’s tears on your face that you cant feel right now but it just gives the moment the touch of drama it needs. Jaehyun rushes to you, the gun in his hand pointed upwards as he cups your face, the alarms still going off and the sirens getting closer by the minute. You try to read his lips but its like your mind can’t process anything, like you’re in a state of shock that nothing can pull you out off. 

Was it worth it? Your mind provides. Was any of it worth it? 

Right now, at the downfall, you can only think back to the basement apartment and the job that barely managed to put food on your mouth. The lack of life on Jaehyun’s eyes and how it seemed almost gone the past days. 

And there’s the answer. It was. It was all worth it. 

✸

The routine repeats itself everyday, as it should. It’s almost as if you’re living on automatic mode. Your shift ends at 8pm. You take off your apron, get your bag and whatever leftover you managed to save for dinner and walk outside to meet Jaehyun, who’s waiting for you with a cigarette on his mouth.

He greets you with a kiss to the cheek, knows too well you despise the taste of the cheap cigarette he smokes. “How was work?” You let him hold your hand, feeling the weight on your body leave just a little bit.

“It was ok, same old.” You liked your job. Your very underpaid job, but still it was something. Your mother taught you how to cook from a young age so it just made sense to make use of the only talent you had. Even if sometimes the manager got on your nerve and made you want to quit. “How’s Yuta?”

Yuta was one of Jaehyun’s closest friends. The one that when everything was way shittier than it its now, taught Jaehyun how to work his way around those fancy music equipments and now they sell jingles for supermarkets every once in a while. “He’s fine.“ Is all he replies with, never one to talk too much about matters of work, but today something seems off. Like his mind is somewhere else. 

Most days Jaehyun is good at hiding how miserable and exhausted he feels, how it destroys his soul to be wasting the only talent he has on things that are useless. But sometimes all he can do is smoke a whole pack of cigarettes while he argues with you that it would be better if he just found another job, something that pays more but leaves him ten times more dead inside than he is now. 

On the other hand, you are the best at hiding it. Feels like that’s the only thing that’s pushing you both forward, the sweet smile you give him everyday even if your back hurts from sleeping on the old mattress. Even if you’re tired of eating eggs everyday because they are cheaper. But after three years it’s easy for him to see right past all that. 

“You sure you’re okay?“ He asks when you both make into the full subway, the amount of people squeezing the two of you together. “You look tired.“

Don’t I always? You want to say, but you just shrug it off. “Yep.” You say, mindlessly. “Just had a long day, is all.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, the smell of the cigarette he had earlier still lingering but it doesn’t bother you as much as the kiss makes you feel warm. He is good at that, always has been. Making you feel safe and content without even saying a word. 

The rest of the way home is met with a comfortable silence from the both of you. You do this almost everyday, the shady streets don’t change, the flickering light doesn’t go out and the stray cat that stays just outside the stairs that lead you down your small house still hisses at Jaehyun when he tries to pet it. It’s a dreadful routine.

There’s a bill on the counter that you still haven’t gotten the courage to open yet when you enter the kitchen and Jaehyun runs to shower. The lasagna leftover you managed to get at work is something to be thankful for, even if the amount is not really enough for both of you. Still, you heat it and wait for Jaehyun to come out of the shower to eat it. 

You’re impatient, fingers running around the counter as the static noise of the microwave fills the room. You eye the bill for a minute before muttering a low ‘fuck it’ and grabbing it. You tear the paper, being met with a long letter detailing the specifics of a deal you made years ago and a reminder that if you don’t pay it soon you will be met with a pretty lawsuit. 

A long time ago your dreams were still intact inside of your head, and an acceptance to the university you aimed for just got the best out of your naivety. Drowning yourself in student loan sounded like a good idea at the time, you would be a lawyer by the time you were done with college anyway, more than enough money to pay for it later on. But in the end it didn’t turn out like that, having to work two jobs didn’t make attending classes very easy and soon you were a college dropout with no money and an amount of student loan that you wouldn’t be able to pay. Ever. 

That exact amount stares at you now, plus taxes, in a bold font and a due date by the end of the month. Great, peachy even. It’s not like it makes your hands shake and your heart beat faster in your chest as you start to panic just a little bit.

You don’t even notice the beeping coming from the microwave, only snapping out of it when Jaehyun walks in the room, hair still wet. “Baby? What’s wrong?” His voice is filled with worry as he makes his way towards you. 

He has no comforting words when he takes the piece of paper from your hand and reads it, muttering a little fuck and shaking his head. “Let’s just forget it for now and eat, okay?” Is his clever solution and what can you do but nod. 

He tries to make small chat while you eat, trying his best to distract you and it works for the most part. The little anxiety monster not weighing so much on your back.

Later, when you have already showered and you’re both laying on the mattress on the floor he mutters the words that would change everything into the dark. “Do you ever think about how far you would go for money?” 

Most of the time you like to think you would never go too far to make money, always staying with the 9 to 5 jobs that didn’t pay that well. But days like this, your mind wanders around the alternatives. “Sometimes, I guess.” You whisper, as if to not disturb the quiet. “What about you?”

You turn around so you’re facing him but his eyes stay glued to the ceiling, as if he is in deep thought. “I would do anything with you.” He replies, not really answering the question but his words weigh on. Little did you know they would stick with you forever.

✸

He makes the proposition on a sunday night, when you both have a day off. The old television is playing reruns of a show Jaehyun liked to watch but you never really cared about. Tonight though he seems a bit uninterested. 

He had been acting out of it the whole week, not speaking much and moving around like he’s in a never ending anxiety state. 

“Have you heard about the little cafe down the street closing down?” You ask after too long in silence, making small talk as if to settle his nerves. 

“Huh?” You watch him blink from your side of the couch before his attention is turned to you. He looks comfortable in his big black hoodie but his hair is just about to get oily from not having washing it. “Why? I thought they were doing well.” 

You hum in agreement. “Heard it was because of the robbery couple weeks ago. People don’t really want to get their coffee on a dangerous neighbor.” He just blinks again and you realize he’s not paying attention to what you’re saying. “Is everything okay, baby?”

Out of nowhere he gets up from the bed, standing there looking at you with a weird air in his eyes. “I know a way we can get the debt money.” He says out of nowhere and quickly. 

“Oh.” You mutter out dumbly, not really knowing what to say to his abrupt confession. 

He scratches the back of his head, passing around the room as if trying to choose the right words. “I - Yuta and I were talking last week and he mentioned this, hm…” His nervous behavior is making you nervous as well and you wish he would just say it already. “He mentioned an opportunity.”

You raise your eyebrows, moving so you are sitting down on the bed, eyes trying to scan his. “What kind?”

Yuta was a great person, he truly was. But like you and Jaehyun, and probably every other person in New York, he struggled with money. Unlike you though, he would sometimes get involved in sketchy business and, against your knowledge, would try to get Jaehyun to do the same. 

“You probably won’t like it.” Jaehyun says and you know it’s not something good but you entertain him with a raise of your eyebrows. “Remember Doyoung?” 

“The guy with red hair?” You had met Doyoung once, during a small party at Yuta’s party. It was a long time ago, but you still remember his vivid red hair. 

Jaehyun nods. “He was doing some work around houses downtown. Cleanings pools and stuff.” He’s still pacing around your small bedroom, avoiding your eyes. “Well one of the men he was working for apparently forgot he had given him a spare key to the house.” 

“And where’s the opportunity here?” 

“Rich people are dumb, baby. That’s the opportunity.” You let out a small laugh at that. “The man has money hidden in his house and we have access to the keys.” 

He does a big gesture to you as if he had just discovered all the secrets of the universe. “Are you suggesting - You want us to rob someone?” You have a hard time processing his words. That’s by far the craziest thing Jaehyun has ever said, the drug dealing idea last year doesn’t even come close to this. “This is crazy. How are we even getting the key from Doyoung? And how are we even supposed to even get inside without being noticed?” 

“He’s giving it to us. Knows how much we need the money.” You let out a sigh, throwing your blanket away so you can get up as well. “And the dude will be away for a day next week app-“

“Jaehyun, you’re going crazy. Please look at-“

“No, ____. I’m not-“ He gets antsy at your reaction, finally facing you and cradling your face with both his hands. There’s desperation in his eyes and you want to make him feel at peace again. “We have to, baby. It’s our only chance.” 

Of the things you missed the most, hope was one of them. It made things make sense, hoping that everything would work out and tomorrow would be better. You think back to the day you lost it, saw it draining from Jaehyun’s soul as he cried in front of you for the first time. He had looked so fatigued as he looked at you and delivered the news that he got fired from his job and the only thing you could give him was the letter of eviction you had gotten earlier. 

After hope is gone you start to live on automatic, just trying to make it through the next day. There’s no silver linings and no alternatives. But this right here, seems like one. It’s a hard thing to admit but it really might be your only chance. 

You don’t accept it right away but Jaehyun knows you will eventually. That night you fall asleep with him telling you it will be ok as you cry yourself dry.

✸

Jaehyun gets a car. An old thing that has probably seen better days and which the origin of where it came from is kept hidden from you. He tells you to pack most things you will need for a few weeks, which are not much because you don’t own a lot. 

jaehyun gets a gun. A real one that you find out about when he’s driving you downtown, to rob a man’s house from all things. 

It’s around 1am but the streets are still busy, with people walking around and the neon signs still on. There’s a song playing that Jaehyun seems to enjoy because he keeps humming to it and for a second you forget about what’s happening. Until he asks you. “Are you nervous?”

There’s no beating around the bush here. “Yes.”

“Me too.” He says back and turns the music on even louder.

Your heart beats like crazy on your chest as Jaehyun enters they key on the lock, as if expecting for alarms to go off and for this to be over before it even starts, but nothing happens. He just opens the door and walks inside. 

If the house seemed huge from the outside, it’s even bigger inside. The architecture is minimalist, like the houses you see on the movies and you’re sure there are pieces of art on the walls are worth more than your life. 

The sound of your steps on the wood floor echo so you try to walk as slowly as possible, taking in the luxury that surrounds the place. 

“You can take whatever you like, just not something that they would notice soon.” Jaehyun’s voice snaps you out of your daze, your eyes moving to where he’s heading inside the house. He seems determined and you should be too. 

“Okay.” You say back, trailing behind him before you decide to enter what it seems like a big closet. 

When you turn the lights on you let your eyes wander, there’s a full corridor full of clothes, shoes and bags that left your mouth gaping. Fashion had always been something you enjoyed but never let yourself fantasize too much about, other than a nice sale at H&M. Now though, you let your hands travel through all the soft and expensive looking fabrics. 

Your fingers stop when they touch the softest silk you had ever felt in your entire life, eyes shining when you see the lilac shade of it. A Valentino slip dress so pretty that you feel excited just by holding it and it doesn’t take you long to decide that this wouldn’t be missed. 

For the remaining of your search you let yourself be shallow but not too much,, entering bathrooms and taking perfumes and lipsticks with you but not letting yourself get away when you see bags and earrings that call your name. 

It feels like hours inside the house before you finally find yourself on the only room you hadn’t been yet and Jaehyuni’s voice is reverberating through the house in search for you. 

He finds you on the main bedroom, staring at the huge bed on the center of it. It looks comfortable.

He comes behind you, arms circling your waist and face resting on the crook of your neck. You let out a pleased hum. “Want me to fuck you there, kitten?” He whispers in your ear and even if it does send a shiver down your spine, you scoff at him. 

“You’re filthy, Jung Jaehyun.” Your reply makes him laugh, throwing his arm up in defeat. 

“A man can only dream.” He says and there’s a lightness to his voice that wasn’t there before but when you turn to look at him there’s still worry in his eyes. “Did you get everything you wanted?” 

You nod. “Just a few things.” 

He smiles, likes for some reason that you are being bashful about this. “Well I got us a lot of fucking cash.” It makes you laugh, hands moving to rest at his shoulders while you do your best to give him dreamy eyes. 

“You did?” He knows what you’re playing at and it only make him smile wider, dimples coming out. 

“Mhm-hm.” He says before pressing a quick peck to your lips. “You could even say we’re rich right now. Even got myself a Rolex.” 

He shows the watch to you with a smirk on his face. It was always his very out of reality dream to get one and here he was now, proudly showing his wrist off like he bought it with his own money.

“Oh! It’s so pretty.” 

“Yeah? You think so?” He asks, one hand moving to your cheek and caressing it with his thumb.

You nod again. “Makes you hotter.” You whisper and he lets out a full laugh, making you smile as well. 

“Can’t fucking believe you sometimes. A little vixen, that’s what you are.” 

“Can’t help that money makes me horny.” You joke, making him laugh even harder, bending to get the duffel bag that he had dropped to his feet. 

You both make sure that everything is set and non suspicious before leaving. Only stopping by the kitchen so Jaehyun can steal a bottle champagne and expensive cheese while you roll your eyes. 

The weight on your shoulders only leave when you’re inside the car driving away. It’s then, with the calm of the early morning, the wind on your face and a song playing, that you decide you want to see Jaehyun smiling all the time. 

“Jaehyun.” You call out to him and he immediately turns to look at you, hands still on the steering wheel. The worry has left his eyes, leaving space for a peaceful gleam that you absolutely adore. “I love you.” 

He gives you a smile, making your insides twist with happiness. “Love you too, angel. You’re my ride or die.” 

✸

When you pull up at the road motel it feels like something straight out of a movie, with lights flickering and only a few cars on the huge parking lot. 

Jaehyun had promised that as soon as you got back to the city you would go and spend a whole week at a fancy hotel to make up for this. But for now, the motel would had driven 2 hours to get to, would have to do. 

It wasn’t bad, you think to yourself, as you enter the little reception. The bed would probably be better than the one you had at home. 

“Good morning, welcome to La Luna.” The old lady behind the counters says in an almost robotic voice. She looks way past her bedtime and barely even glances twice at you. “Can I help you?” 

“We need a room, for a couple of nights.” Jaehyun replies, glancing at you to make sure you were okay. You give him a small smile. 

“We don’t book for more than a day. You have to come back in the morning to check-in again.” The lady says placing a piece of paper on the counter, making him sigh before signing where it was needed.

“That’s okay. We’ll get one for the night and come back again tomorrow.” He says and as soon as the lady gives him the key he’s walking away, you following right behind. 

Room 439 is simple. Looks more like a plain hotel room, with the white sheets in the bed and the minimalist decor, then a road motel you have seen in movies. 

There’s the sound of the bag Jaehyun was holding falling to the floors, then of the gun being placed on the bedside table. Your eyes glance to the clock right next to it, the red lights indicating that it was a little after 4AM. You should feel tired but your body is tingling with adrenaline and excitement, heart beating slightly too fast. 

So you move to the bathroom, bag still in your hand. You can still hear Jaehyun moving around in the bedroom but it feels good to be alone for a second. 

Your hands are shaking when you remove the clothes you are wearing, folding them with patience and placing it on the closed toilet lid. Then you remove your underwear, the printing of the tight bra staying behind in slightly red marks. The streams of hot water from the quick shower you take wash them away. 

You feel like your heart will burst when you are completely dry, bending to the floor to open the bag with the things you had stolen behind. Stolen. The words echo in your head as you stare at yourself in the fogged mirror. There’s a blush on your cheeks from the heat and your hair is wet. You can barely see the perfume you hold so tightly as you spray your body with it, a pleasant, not too sweet and not too citrusy smell filling your senses.

Then comes the dress, a little folded for being in the bag, but still the most beautiful piece of cloth you had ever seen. You almost moan when the fabric hits your skin, the lilac of it looking almost angelic on you. It’s a pretty dress, stopping at your mid thigh and with the straps not doing much to keep you covered. 

Looking in the mirror again, you see yourself. None of the things on your body are yours, but it’s still you. 

When you walk inside the bedroom again a shiver runs down your spine from the cold air. Jaehyun is sitting on the bed, his now naked back is turned to you as he goes through the channels on the tv. 

It’s silly but you clear your throat, trying to get his attention. It works and he turns so he’s facing you, smile immediately painting his face. “Damn, baby. You look so pretty.“ He says genuinely and you can’t help but smile back, your cheeks turning pink. “Come on, come here.“ He pats his thighs and you walk to him, until you’re standing between his open legs. 

“Do you like it?“ You twirl around a little so the dress follows, giggling. 

He moves his hands to your thighs, rubbing through the dress and humming. “Of course, you look so beautiful.“ He presses a kiss to your clothed stomach, then another to the exposed area of your chest. “Smell so good too. Makes me want to eat you up.“ 

He looks at you then, eyes filled with something that you probably mirror and you can only reply with a little oh, making him laugh at you before finally pressing a kiss to your lips. 

Its quick before soon he’s getting off the bed and moving you to where the champagne bottle is. “We should celebrate, huh?“ His voice is playful as he gets the bottle on his hands. “It’s not everyday you become a millionaire.“ 

You laugh out loud. You are far from being a millionaire but it does feel like it, on this small hotel room with your designer dress and Jaehyun smiling at you. When he pops the champagne open you clap your hands and he moves it to his mouth trying to not get it to fall on the floor, but instead it drips down his neck, a bit getting on his chest. It makes something inside you tingle. 

“Can I have some?“ You ask, getting closer to him. 

“Sure, baby. Open up.“ You do as he says, parting your lips and tilting your head back a little so he can pour it on your mouth. He watches you the whole time, and after you have gulped down he places the bottle on the desk again, hands moving to your neck. Impatient, you close the distance first, smashing your lips together and almost groaning in frustration when he smiles against your mouth as if teasing you for being so eager. 

The kiss is hungry from the start, with his hands moving to your hips and you pulling on his lips. When you moan a little at the feel he opens his mouth a little, sliding his tongue against yours and you swear you will never get enough of this. 

Your hands move down, trying to unbutton his jeans but he distracts you with nips to your lower lip. “So eager, kitten.” He murmurs against your lip and you blush for being caught on your desperation. His hand moves down your dress, gripping at your bare ass before he’s smacking it, bringing a yelp to your lips. If you weren’t wet already you sure were now. “Are you gonna be a good girl for me, huh?” 

You nod, earning yourself another smack. “Y-yes, I’ll be a good girl. Please, please…” You whimper and he kisses you hard again, sucking at your lips and your grip at his shoulders. 

He goes down, kissing at your jaw, then your earlobe and then he’s biting at your neck, making you squirm but he keeps you still with a strong grip on your waist. His other hands goes to the thin strap of your dress, pushing it down until it falls on one side, exposing your breasts to him. 

He wastes no time, mouth going to your chest as he latches his lips to one of your hard nipples and you let out a moan, hands gripping his nape. “Oh — Oh my god….” 

He gives the same attention to the other nipple and you feel overwhelmed already, always had been too sensitive. You don’t even notice when he pushes the other strap down and the dress falls to the floor. “Such a pretty dress, baby.” He mutters against your chest. “But you look much better like this.” 

He drops to his knees, hands roaming your body before they stop at your hips. One kiss to your stomach, then another and he’s finally where you want him the most. Taking his time, he pressed the littlest of kisses to your bare cunt before he’s pressing his tongue to it. You cry out at the feeling, hands moving to grip the table in front of you as he laps at you entrance, collecting your wetness there before he’s moving to your clit. 

He likes this as much as you do, humming against you and licking you so deeply you feel the urge to press your thighs together. He always said he could stay between your legs until his jaw got strained, he wouldn’t mind. “Taste so fucking good.” You can feel the vibrations of his voice through you, a shiver running down your body.

“Please, Jae… ‘M so close.” Your fingers grip his hair, pushing his mouth further and he hums again when you try to move against his mouth. 

“That’s it, kitten.” He groans, muffled by you. “Ride my face.” 

You did, grip on his hair only getting tighter as he continued to lick and suck you, two of his fingers slipping inside of you. It’s when he curls them and flicks his tongue just right on your clit you let out a cry. “Oh — Jae… I’m gonna cum— I’m…”

Your walls tighten around his fingers and then you’re seeing all white. Mouth falling open as he continues to lick, gentler this time, you through your orgasm. 

You have barely gotten your breath back before he’s dragging you to the bed, leaving his pants and briefs behind. His chest was shining with a light sheen of sweat as he hovers over you before dropping your lips to yours, making you taste yourself on his tongue. 

“Want you.” He mutters against your lips and you know, can feel him pressing against your thigh. “Want you so fucking bad.” 

He nuzzles his face against yours, before kissing your neck again. “Please…” You whine, arching your back to try and get closer to him. “Fuck me… Please.” 

“Yeah? Want me inside?” His voice was lower with around, hand moving to grip his cock and slicking the head with your wetness. You open your legs wider for him. “Want me inside your tight little pussy?” 

You nod your head, walls clenching at his words and he presses the head at your entrance, biting his lips. He slides in slowly, feeling you pulsing against him and making him groan loudly. He feels so good you could see stars right now. 

You lock your ankles behind him, bringing him closer and he lets out a moan. “Just a sec, baby. Just a — fuck….” 

The first thrust has you both moaning, your hands moving to grip at his shoulders, nails drawing crescents on his skins. You’re both on a high and he can’t control himself, each thrust getting harder than the last one as he grunts in your ear, begging you to come for him. You can hear faintly in the background the sound of the bed squeaking but the sound of your moans and of skin slapping drowns it.

“Oh, fuck…” You yelp when his fingers get in contact with your clit, rubbing it until you’re coming for the second time, back arching off the bed. 

After that he sets a sloppy rhythm, thrusting faster until he’s pressing deep inside of you with a grunt and filling you up with his release. “Fuck, Fuck —Shit.”

You whimpers when he pulls out, feeling his release falling out on the bed and your ass. He drops his head to your neck, pressing a kiss to your cheek before laughing lowly. 

He gets up after a moment and disappears into the bathroom, coming back with a small wet towel he uses to clean you up. “You need to pee?” He asks and you shake your head.

“I will in a minute.” You open your arms for him. “Come here now.” 

He does as told, falling into your arms and pressing kisses all over you. “I love you, baby.” You giggle and that makes him look at you with an intensity that wasn’t there before. “I really do, you know that right? I would kill for you.” 

You look at him with glossy eyes, hands moving to his cheek. “I know.” Your thumb massages his worried eyebrows. “And I love you too.” 

He turns his head so he can kiss your hand. “Would you?” He asks before continuing. “Kill for me?” 

You think about it for a second before deciding. “I would.” And that’s final.

✸

The thing about ambition is that it never seems enough, it blinds you and the only think you can think about is more and more. 

After 3 days, Jaehyun drops a balaclava onto the hotel bed as you’re balancing yourself on it and trying to paint your toenails. “What’s this?“ You ask, eyebrows raising as he drops the rest of the things he bought from the closest convenience store he could find. 

“There’s a small town, about 30 minutes from here.“ He starts, getting a package of oreos from the shopping bag and ripping it open with his teeth. “Apparently nothing really happens there during the weekend… and the bank closes down.“

He lets his words hang in the air. You know exactly what’s he’s implying, deciding to stay quiet for a minute, taking your time applying the black nail polish and keeping your eye on it as it dries. Him chomping down oreo after oreo like he didn’t just suggest what he did just makes you the more antsy. “So?“

He knows you’re playing dumb. “It’s an opportunity.“ He replies, simple and dry, making you scoff loudly.

“An opportunity to fucking ruin our lives, is what you mean.“ Before the words are even out of your mouth he’s already sighing and throwing his arms up. 

“Come on, it’s gonna be eas-“

“Easy? Are you out of your mind?“ You interrupt him, blood already boiling as you close down the nail polish and get out of bed. “Do you think this is some kind of movie, huh?“ 

You try to go to the bathroom so this argument won’t last as long as it seems to and hopefully give him time to drop the stupid idea, but he doesn’t let you. Stepping in front of you, you can smell the oreo coming from his mouth and it mixes with the nail polish making you want to be sick. “Please, baby. Listen to me.“ He pleads and you just roll your eyes. This is insane. He looks like he’s going insane. “I have it all figured out, trust me.“ 

“Yeah? Like you are some crime genius, for fucks sake.“ You whisper yell and he bites his lips in anger, trying his best not to snap at you. It would only make it worse. “It’s a dumb idea, you know it.“

“Jesus, I knew you would fucking flip on me.“ He walks away from you, pinching the bride of his nose before turning to you again. 

You don’t even bother replying, stomping your way to the bathroom and locking the door as he tells you to stop being fucking crazy for a second. Before any of this, your fights with Jaehyun were always about trivial things, like him leaving the lights on when he went out or you using all the hot water before he could even shower. They were still intense, with screaming and door banging, but it always ended up with one of you giving in, showering the other with affection to make up for the harsh words said. This time would be no different. 

You sit on the closed toilet, watching the black polish on your toes dry for about 5 minutes before the knock on the door comes. “Hey, baby… I’m sorry, okay?“ He says with a sigh. “Didn’t mean to snap at you but I really need you to hear me out.“ 

When you don’t reply he takes it as a sign to keep going, voice low and calm. “We should - need to get more money. the amount we have right now is only enough to like, barely pay out our debts.” His words make you slightly nervous, and only thinking about the life before this sends shivers down your spine. “If we get more we can move out of that shithole, you know? Like we talked about. We just’ need to do this and then it will be over, I promise you.” 

Sometimes you like to think about this as a vacation. So far it felt like you were in a dream and none of your previous worries could touch you here. A dangerous line of thought, you knew that, but it was easier to not know the amount of money you had so far and what the mere implication of it going wrong would imply. You had let the hard parts for Jaehyun to take care of and now he throws it at your face, even if his soft voice and promises try to blind you from it. This won’t be over so fast, or at all. 

You get up too fast, vision going black and a sting hitting your head, so when you open the door the image of him is blurred. “Tell me about the plan.” Is all you say.

-

It’s not the best weather for a weekend. The grey in the sky makes for a gloomy sunday but feel like it’s perfect. You Are nervous, more than the last time and you can tell Jaehyun is as well, but he holds your sweaty palm in his for the entire ride as you try not to think about all the things that could go wrong. There’s a lot, but you push then aside for now. 

The city is indeed vacant, just a few convenience stores open and in your mind you think that it would be much easier to just rob one of them, but Jaehyun had argued that it would take robbing 5 stores to get what you would in a bank. He’s right, you assume. You wish you had a gun right now. 

When he parks just outside the back entrance to the bank you feel like puking the oreos you had as a breakfast and your head spins with how fast you’re shaking. ”I should’ve stayed at the hotel.” You mutter and he gives you a look. 

”I need you here.” For what, you wonder. To drive the car if you need a quick escape? To hold the bag as he puts the money inside it? To tell him it’s gonna be okay even if the your gut is telling you to get out of there right now? 

You just nod, putting on the black balaclava when he hands it to you. It constricts your breathing even more, making you feel light headed but you still follow him. 

The whole thing happens in 4 quick steps that feels like forever for you. 

Jaehyun manages to get the back door open without the alarms going off and you let out a breath that almost makes you choke. It goes according to the plan, making you wonder where he learned to do this and the only coherent answer is that Yuta taught him somehow. Then he’s pacing around, balaclava covering his face as he enters a room and tells you to stay at the door. You stay frozen, heart beating in your ears in an almost deafening way. You feel like a decoy, not doing anything important but hold the bag tightly on your fists. 

It’s about 30 minutes before Jaehyun is walking out, wads of cash on his hand and your head does a spin again. ”Come on, open the bag.” He rushes and you do as told on automatic. That’s it? It shouldn’t have been so easy, It can’t be. 

He puts the money there and you can see he’s shaking too. You wish you could see his face right now. ”It - It worked?” Your voice is hoarse and you look at him expectantly. Then it happens. Before he can answer the sound hits your ears. The most deafening alarm and the red lights lighting up the whole place. Jaehyun mutters a low fuck, and zips the bag in a rush. 

You knew something was wrong, nothing bad should ever be that easy. You mind rushes with thoughts of how the cops got there so fast and why the alarm didn’t sound when you walked in. Your eyes land on the cameras and your curse both of you for being so dumb and not thinking of that. In the back of your panic you can see Jaehyun moving trying to do god knows what and telling you to move, but you’re stuck in place, legs shaking and you’re sure you would fall face into to the floor if you dared to walk. It’s done, there’s no coming back now. 

You can see Jaehyun’s mouth moving through the black mask when he comes closer to you, but the sound of alarms and sirens are too loud, deafening even. The red lights are much brighter now. Your hand grips the bag you’re holding with much more force than needed, and there’s tears on your face that you cant feel right now but it just gives the moment the touch of drama it needs. Jaehyun rushes to you, the gun in his hand pointed upwards as he cups your face, the alarms still going off and the sirens getting louder by the minute. You try to read his lips but its like your mind can’t process anything, like you’re in a state of shock that nothing can pull you out off. 

Was it worth it? Your mind provides. Was any of it worth it? 

Right now, at the downfall, you can only think back to the basement apartment and the job that barely managed to put food on your mouth. The lack of life on Jaehyun’s eyes and how it seemed almost gone the past days. 

And there’s the answer. It was. It was all worth it.

He removes the balaclava from your head, throwing it somewhere before he’s gripping your face again. He presses a kiss to your cheeks, before he whispers the words in your ear. You want to protest, to fight him, but he’s much stronger than you, ripping the bag from your hands and making you drop to the ground as the cold barrel of the gun presses to the side of your head. You can finally feel the tears on your face. 

What happens next is a blur, the cops burst in, guns in hand and telling Jaehyun to drop the gun and put his hands where they can see it. He tells them he will kill you if they come any closer. For a minute you wish he would, just end it already. You just want it to be over. 

He lets them get him, being thrown to the floor as they handcuff him and you let out a sob as one officer pulls you up by the elbow. ”Its okay, miss. You’re safe now.” Is what he says and you almost laugh between a muffled sob. It’s pathetic how they fell into it. 

You cry all the way to the police station, body shaking, almost begging for them to sedate you already. Its too much for you. You think about Jaehyun and where they are taking him right now. You don’t want to live in a world without him. 

They take you to a room that is all grey after examining for any injuries.. Theres a cup of tea on the table in front of you and an officer stares you up and down. You feel heavy, cheeks stained and a headache even though you have calmed down a lot by now. 

The officer clears his throat, getting your attention. ”We understand this is a delicate situation you are in, miss. So we won’t take long with the questions.” He’s being too nice and you want to scoff. ”We just need to understand what went on, is that okay?”

You nod and he continues, eyeing the paper in front of him. ”What we gathered from the ordeal is that the criminal by the name Jung Jaehyun kidnapped you, is that correct?”

You swallow a lump in your throat, remembering the words he had said before it went down. The lies he said would make it better. ”Y-yes.” You lie through your teeth, and the man in front of you writes it down. ”He told - He said he needed someone to - I don’t know, it was all very confusing. I can’t remember.”

“Did he assault or attempted to touch you in any wa-?”

“No!” You exclaim a bit too loudly and the man gives you a look. You clear your throat and try again. “No, he did not.” 

He writes that down too and you shift anxiously in your seat. “Well, that’s all we need for now. But we’ll have to keep you around a bit longer in case something comes up, I’m sorry about that.” 

“It’s ok.” You say and then your mind acts for itself. “Can I see him?” 

You had to try, even if it sent the whole plan to the space. You didn’t know when or if you would ever be able to see him again, so you had to try. The officer looks at you with pity. “Afraid not.” He says kindly. “And you shouldn’t want to either, that man could have hurt you.” 

There’s a pang in your heart when you hear those words but you just hum.

✸

Orange doesn’t suit him. 

It had been a year and half now but every time you saw him in the color, it made you want to throw up. He had been sent to a prison 15 minutes away from your city, and every 20 days they would allow you to go there and visit him. 

After 6 months of only being able to see him through the thick glass and hear his voice through the phone, they finally let you really see each other during the visits. It was bittersweet, seeing him in that place, where you should be as well. But being able to touch him and just see his face made it a little better. There was only 4 years to go now. 

”Hello, pretty.” He says when you sit down on the round table, across from him You are wearing the floral dress he likes so much and it makes him smile. You wish you could kiss him, but you satisfy yourself with holding his hands. 

”How have you been?” It’s always the same question, but you always have to know. He has a bit of stubble going on that you think suits him very well.

”You know, same old, same old. Started reading that book you brought in last time.” Last time had been 5 weeks ago, because you couldn’t contain yourself and started an argument and didn’t want to see him for all that time. You both ignore that now, deciding to enjoy what little time you have together. ”Missed you like crazy.”

Longing. That’s what his eyes are full of when he looks at you and your heart hurts the same way it did almost 2 years ago. The same way it hurts everyday. ”Please don’t say that.” You whispers, avoiding his eyes.

Sometimes you wish you could just go back to that sketchy motel room in the middle of nowhere. With the champagne and the silk dress. But that was a long time ago and now you must pay the price for it. 

He changes the subject for you. ”Is Yuta treating you well?”

”Yeah, he’s fine.” You had been staying with Yuta since it all happened, trying to stay as low as you possibly could in fear of the consequences of the lawsuit you got yourself in. Yuta had been nice enough to let you stay at his house, but you knew he felt a little guilty for guiding Jaehyun in that stupid plan. 

A man knocks on the glass door suddenly, signaling that your time is almost over, and Jaehyun’s hold on your hand gets a bit tighter. 

”Promise me you’ll come next time?” How could you say no when it hurts you just as much as it does him if you don’t. ”Please.”

”I promise.” You say, squeezing his hand in return. ”I will do anything for you, Jae.”

That night when you lay down in bed you think back to the day he told you about the plan, how he held you in his arms as you cried. Back then you thought you would never feel as miserable as that again. 

When you close your eyes you dream of lasagna leftovers, the taste of cigarettes on your lips and Jung Jaehyun with a gun on his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! you can support me on ko-fi.com/moondustis and request a fanfic there :)  
> i'm also on tumblr @ moondustis.tumblr.com


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